Mornings... How I hate you!!

Warning: Profanity is used.... ALOT.

I despise mornings. So much. I'm not a morning person. Like at all, I hate being woken up and I hate when people make noise. So much so that I dream of ways to torture them into silence.

Normally I manage to sleep until around 8 or 9 am, but my lovely husband thought it would be nice to wake me at 6am this morning when he got home from PT. For those of you who don't have a clue about the Military, PT stands for Physical Training aka "Wake up fucking early and go run around and do pushups until you go home and wake your wife up who will glare at you with daggers until you learn how to be quiet." It doesn't help that I have insomnia every night, staying up up until two or three in the morning due to the inability not to sleep.

My kids aren't even afraid of me anymore. At one point, they hated waking me up, so they'd play quietly with their toys until I woke up and now, that doesn't happen. Now they break into the fridge and steal apples (yes, I do know it could be worse) and of course, making a mess with different things in different rooms, on an almost daily basis. And my dog, well, he really doesn't care at all. Apparently barking at EVERYTHING is the highlight of his existence, he really needs a PSVita. Also, my cat likes to jump on me. Today she landed on my stomach and I thought I'd been punched. So as you see, all the forces of nature come together to make sure I can't sleep.

Anyways, I woke up this morning, too fucking early with a fucking headache and too little fucking sleep. And yes, I swear in the morning because I have absolutely ZERO interest in being awake and being nice at 7 fucking o'clock in the fucking morning, Mother-Fucker. And my plan for the day is pretty basic. Clean the house, finish the laundry that was started on Saturday and that I didn't do yesterday because it was Mother's Day, fuckers, and Momma's shouldn't do laundry on their own damn day! And go to Walmart and print out photos both for our personal use and for our family members, because you should always send the old people who can't use a computer that well photos of your kids, so they feel included. It's called being nice! And yes, I see the irony.

I also still have that headache I mentioned earlier even though I've taken something for it. It's sharp and stabbing and makes me want to cut that particular part of my head off, I mean who needs the left half of your head anyways! As you see, I'm not a morning person. I prefer total silence and sleeping until I naturally wake up, something I never did until Steve got home from Afghanistan and I finally got the ability to sleep in. I know, I know, I shouldn't complain about not being able to every day when I get to sometimes, but those "sometimes" just feel too fucking rare that it drives me insane. I'm always tired...

I swear I mainline caffeine, which means that I can't even tolerate people until I put some in my bloodstream, which worries me due to the fact that I want to have a baby. How the hell am I supposed to function pregnant with no pain meds and no caffeine! Pregnancy makes life ten times harder, I think, but I want it so badly, I'm aching.  And I've yet to actually have any yet. And I think my dog is trying to make me crazy... his barking which is every 3-5 seconds, is so repetitive and annoying that I'm considering throwing things at him... (no, I wouldn't hurt him but he's so annoying and he doesn't listen worth a fuck.)

As you see, I have no tolerance for mornings and even less without caffeine. I'm a night owl, which I understand the basic idea of: owls are awake at night, but I hate calling myself an owl. I prefer Penguins, if I have to be a bird. Or wolves, because I like wolves. 


Anyways, last night I tuned into Game of Thrones (read the books and watch the show, the show actually follows the books quite well, unlike most shows based on books) and Army Wives (read the book if you want, it has nothing to do with the show even though they say that the show is based on the book). You should check out Game of Thrones, because it's really good, so good I'm addicted to it and I always watch it with my husband because he loves it too, so it's good for both guys and gals. I should mention this about Army Wives... while yes, it does have some if not alot of reality to it, you shouldn't take it as fact for what my life, or any true Army Wife is like. Also, you shouldn't believe that all Army Wives are fat and lazy and moochers off their husbands and feel like everything is due to them without helping them. The truth is some of us are skinny, busy and don't get credit for most of what we do by anyone but our husbands or fellow Army Wives. So all those assholes who think that can go fuck themselves up the ass with a large, rusted steel pipe. And you are welcome for that visual. 


I should actually make some attempt to move. And get caffeine. I'll be much nicer with Caffeine. And I won't want to cut a bitch as quickly. Oh, if you couldn't tell, I'm from Jersey...