What if I told you not to tell??? You'd probably do one of three things: number one, and most unlikely, you'd keep my secret and not tell a soul. Two, you'd tell that one close friend (or a couple close friends) who you think wouldn't tell and you'd tell them not to tell, but invariably they would. Or Three, you'd tell everyone because let's face it gossip and spreading rumors is a fun thing to do.

So what if I told you this is all true? Or mostly true? Or only a little sliver of truth is in here and the rest is lies? Would you still read? Would you tell? What if I said that all this is true and I only pretend it's not because it makes for a better story to pretend it never happened? Or what if I tell you it's true and it's really not, would you really believe it?

In either case, this is blog is full of my secrets and whether or not you share them is up to you, but you can't steal them because everything is safe on the internet. And Everyone always believes what they read, so it must all be true. Wait... maybe I'm wrong about this last little bit.

Whatever... It's a secret. Don't tell.

Things I LOVE

This guy. He's my husband, but shhhh... don't tell. 

These two kids. I may have kidnapped them (just kidding, they're really mine!!)
and they are awesome, because they are mine!

Beau, my Great Pyrenees dog, who I can't trust alone in any room of my house...
Because he'll chew everything!! 

Luna, who went into heat for the first time and got knocked up.
I'm not kidding. We're expecting kittens in about 50 days or so.

Big Bang Theory, mostly Sheldon. Because Sheldon is epic.

House, even though Fox is canceling House...
Fuck you, Fox.

Dexter, because every little girl dreams of being a serial killer...
or maybe just me.

Hockey::: Because it's the best sport ever.
Team::: The New Jersey Devils, because let's face it: some of the greatest players alive today play for them! (Diehard Fan!)
And last but certainly not least::::
Martin Brodeur, because if you are going to be obsessed with a hockey player
you should at least make it the best Hockey Goalie alive. (sidenote: EVER)

Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess, who taught me a few things from her blog and book:
1. always be yourself or a giant-quail/turkey will shit all over your facade.
2. Saying what you think might make you insane but it's also very funny.
3. Taxidermy animals in peoples clothing can be cute.



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