Ummm...

My MIL prays for me. Alot. Today Steve called her for mother's day and after half-listening to their conversation, I reminded him to tell her about his Captain's grad and then started to read the next chapter in our book. He hung up with her and right after I told him "I have to read you this chapter. It's about her years in Human Resources and it's hilarious." He told me: "My mom says she's praying for us and loves us." She never talks to me, so I don't know that she loves us is actually a true statement.

I just smiled, saying "Well that makes this rather awkward" and started reading aloud about penises and vaginas and enormous labias. (No, I'm not making this up.) And we chucked together.

After I finished the chapter, we went back up stairs and I asked "What exactly is your mother praying for?" Because Yea, I can get way off-topic alot and immediately go back to one that has my mind questioning everything. Steve replied, "Probably for us to be happy and successful." I shook my head and shrugged, "No probably that I won't take you to hell with me." Steve just laughed. This makes me know it's true.

You see, while I'm religious in the sense that I was raised in a semi-religious house and believe in certain things but question alot of those same things, thinking that if God really loves me, he'll know that I'm just a curious mind and that I'm intriqued with things I don't understand. And no, I don't think that believing in a book written by guys that lived 400-500 years after Jesus did is entirely sensible. Sorry. But I do think that it's full of really great stories and proves some valid points like if a giant attacks you, use a sling-shot and hit him in the head with stones. He'll probably fall and hurt himself. And remember, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Just saying. 


Anyways, my MIL doesn't really talk to me. I mean she will if I answer my husband's phone but I try to avoid doing that because I know she feels uncomfortable too. Another reason is because I don't really like hearing "I'll pray for you." Since I am more than perfectly capable of praying for myself, but I never say that to her. I figure that would be rude. And I hate being rude.


So instead I send up birthday cards for all the family members of his family and send her books that I know she'd like: Biblical Triva, Bedtime blessings, etc. And hope that one day, I can secretly get her drunk so we can have a fair conversation. Because you can't be fanatical when you are drunk. Well you can, but honestly, it wouldn't make alot of sense. My husband says I'm not allowed to do that.


Oh I have to go because I'm having my husband prepare the potatoes for dinner. I'm making german food because I don't want anything else and we're too broke at the moment to go to the german restaurant I like. Yea. 

In-Laws Rant

I'm annoyed. Yes, annoyed. Why you might ask? By my in-laws saying that I am not a Christian Lady... again. I come from an entirely different culture than they do. They are from the really conservative, right-wing baptist community that only values things that happen in their church (and all other churches are wrong, fyi), they don't believe in dancing, drinking, music that doesn't talk about loving Jesus, shows that might be a little too edgy and going to the movies: that's a product of the devil. I am from the Military Community. I grew up raised around Soldiers and Airmen who swore, drank, danced, used weapons on a regular basis, fished, hunted, smoked and alot of other "un-Christian" things. Things I do also. I swear, alot. I drink wine occasionally. I love to dance. I love music of all flavors. I love to watch shows about Vampires and fake worlds. And I love movies. I love to joke around and be inappropriate with my friends because they are my friends and we love to have fun.

So why is this bothering me tonight? Well, it shouldn't really but my husband spoke to his mother last week and it's been in my head. Let me point this out: She never calls me, never asks to speak to me when my husband calls her, never thanks me for what I clearly do for her (like I'm the one who sent her the Anniversary card for her and my father-in-law's 43rd). She acts like she's morally superior to me, even though I'm catholic and believe that I'm on the right path to Heaven for me. (I don't care what you believe, because I believe there are many paths to Heaven and I'm on mine, you are on yours.) And worse yet, she thinks the Bible explains everything. Well, this is the Military and the Bible doesn't cover it, not really. We don't have answers to the problems we face, the scriptures don't hold the keys to every possible situation. It bothers me alot that she thinks I should only find answers in a Book written 2000 years ago.

I do like the Bible. I love the stories inside and I think it's a wonderful book full of stories that teach lessons, but I don't think it covers all the choices life gives. I don't think we could possibly have all the answers for everything.

My in-laws not liking me hurts alot, considering I have no parents anymore. I have friend's parents who love me, who treat me like a member of their family. I have aunts that treat me like a daughter and I have ex-boyfriend's parents that still call me to chat from time to time. So the fact that my own mother-in-law doesn't like me and decides that judging me is better than getting to know me for me, hurts like hell. It's the reason we won't visit over holidays, over Sundays, for too long. The fact is that my husband isn't who they think he is either and he would rather not see me hurt by them. It does hurt too. I'm not the kind of person who gets hurt so easily but I wished for a set of in-laws that would take me under their wing as a daughter, instead I got in-laws who treat me like I'm damaged and cursed.

How am I supposed to deal with that? I send them cards randomly, I send them books that I think they'd enjoy (like Bible Trivia) and I try to keep them updated with pictures of their son and many other things, but do they ever acknowledge a single thing I do? No. Do they ever thank me? No, they thank their son, who if he had to remember the dates for important things, wouldn't. I remind him of Birthdays and Anniversaries. I remind him how old they are, how many years they've been married. And I just married into the family. I am the one who puts forth all the effort only to be judged for things that shouldn't matter.

Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does. And if we judge them on that, they are totally failing. 

Anyways, that's my rant for the day... I'm sad about it and it makes me miss my Dad even more. He was my hero and my white knight. I never thought I'd be so alone and I never thought I'd need his advice on how to deal with in-laws that don't like you, but I do... and I don't know what to do about it.